The Edge Read online

  He finished wiping down the walls and turned on the tap to rinse it. He then moved on to the other fixtures in the bathroom, setting aside the bullshit thoughts and running a mental list in his head of what he needed to accomplish today. There were floors to be scrubbed, laundry to be done, and dinner to think of. Those things he could control.

  “Joshua?” Nash called out.

  “I’m in the hall bathroom.”

  Seconds later, Nash’s smiling face became visible from the door. “You got plans tonight?”

  Joshua started to roll his eyes but caught himself at the last second. “Only the ones you make for me, Sir.”

  “Great! You’re having dinner with Denny.”

  “What?”

  “Malcolm called. He wants to talk to me about some plans he has for expanding the club. He thought it would be a good opportunity for our boys to get out. I agree with him.”

  “What about you? Should I prepare your meal before I go?”

  “Nah, I’ll get something at the club. You’re off duty tonight. Go have fun.”

  Joshua tensed. He liked Denny, enjoyed his company the time they’d had lunch together, but Joshua wasn’t sure if he could go there tonight. There was nothing to keep his mind occupied and keep the shit from pouring out of him again. He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t. He began to tremble. Not a good idea. He couldn’t—

  “Hey, hey,” Nash said soothingly and ran his fingers through Joshua’s hair. “It’s just dinner with a friend. No pressure. You don’t have to. I just thought it would be good for you to enjoy some time with Denny, laugh, have fun, and just be for one night.”

  The tension in Joshua began to ease beneath Nash’s gentle touch and calm voice. Nash was right. Why he was panicking? He wasn’t sure. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity to put the previous day behind him. Would definitely go further to keep him occupied than scrubbing floors and ironing.

  He took a deep breath and looked up to meet Nash’s concerned gaze. “I’m sorry. Not sure where that came from. Of course I’d like to hang out with Denny.”

  Nash held out his hand and Joshua took it, allowing Nash to help him to his feet. “Wise choice, boy. And if you aren’t having fun or it becomes too much, you call me and I’ll be right there to bring you home, okay?”

  “Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Nash kissed his forehead. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine. In fact, I know you will.”

  Glad someone is. Joshua, on the other hand, wasn’t as convinced, but he was willing to try anything to get the thoughts out of his head. Even if only for a little while.

  Chapter Twelve

  NOT TRUSTING himself to be out in public with his nerves still so raw, Joshua had suggested Nash let him cook for Denny. Thankfully, Nash had agreed. Dinner was chicken alfredo, basically, a meal in a box; not Joshua’s favorite but it was one of Denny’s favorites. The only thing that would be lacking from a crappy Italian dinner was a cheap bottle of red wine. Which was probably just as well, considering Denny’s flighty disposition and that it made Joshua’s brooding personality even darker. Although Joshua liked Denny, he really wasn’t in the mood for company, and he’d rather eat anything other than alfredo. Still, when the doorbell rang, Joshua hurried to answer it.

  Denny grinned and jumped at Joshua as soon as he’d opened the door. He threw his arms around Joshua, hugging him tightly. “Hey, sexy man, how are you? Wow! It smells great in here,” Denny rambled, all smiles.

  Denny was adorable and had a way of pulling Joshua out of his crappy mood with one smile, and Joshua couldn’t help but return it. The feel-good vibes were temporary, but for now, it was fun, and Joshua went with it.

  “It’s amazing what you can do with some noodles and a jar of sauce. Come on in.”

  “Whatever. You can’t get such yummy scents out of a jar.” Denny followed Joshua, sticking close. “I’m starving. Feed me, sweet man.”

  Joshua laughed, pointed to a barstool at the counter where he’d set out plates and silverware, then went to the stove. “You don’t get a lot of home cooking, do you?”

  “Kind of hard when you live at a club,” Denny said absently. Joshua looked over to see him riffling through the newspaper Nash had left on the counter during lunch. “Don’t get me wrong, the restaurant there has some amazing food and the chefs highly talented. It’s just I don’t like for them to have to go out of their way for me. Besides, I can’t really afford those dinner prices.” Denny chuckled.

  “Now I feel bad I didn’t put more effort into our dinner.” Joshua put a pile of pasta in the center of Denny’s plate and then some on his own. “What can I get you to drink?”

  Denny swirled his fork into his fettuccini and shoved a large amount into his mouth. He chewed happily with a big grin on his face. “Oh. My. God. This is even better than it smells.” He gathered up another large number of noodles and brought the fork to his mouth. “Water is fine,” he said before taking another big bite.

  Joshua grabbed two glasses of ice water, sat one down in front of Denny, then put the other next to his own plate before sitting across from Denny. “Okay, you got me. It’s homemade, but if I’d known you only ever eat at the club, I would have put more time and effort into it.”

  “If it’s got cream, noodles, and chicken, and not being served out of a restaurant kitchen, then in my book, it’s the perfect home-cooked meal.” Denny grinned again and dug into his plate with gusto.

  Joshua pushed his food around with his fork. It did smell good. What the hell. He took a small bite. It was actually better than he’d expected. He took another bite, chewing slowly and giving Denny time to enjoy his meal before speaking again.

  “So how are things going with you and Malcolm?”

  Denny took the last bite on his plate, literally vibrating while he wiped his mouth on a napkin. He then grinned hugely and jumped to his feet. “Look.” He turned his back to Joshua, pulled off his sweatshirt, and tugged his T-shirt up to his shoulders. “Malcolm took me on stage last night.”

  Denny’s back was a crosshatch pattern of red marks from shoulder to the lumbar area. Joshua pushed to his feet and moved around the counter without taking his eyes off Denny’s back. He traced the marks with the tip of his finger, feeling the warmth of Denny’s reddened skin. Joshua hadn’t been put through that kind of a workout in a very long time. Jealousy bubbled up inside him and he choked it down.

  “Damn, Denny, this is beautiful.”

  “Master Malcolm has a very good hand. I don’t remember all of it. I mean, I remember the pain. Holy fuck, do I ever. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle it, and I tell ya, I thought I was going to pass out or piss myself or lose my fucking mind. Which, come to think of it, I think I did lose my mind, because the rest of it is a little hazy.” Denny chuckled. He was making light of it, but there was pride in his tone, and it made Joshua all the more envious. “Master Malcolm says that I pleased him very much and that when he finally let me get off, I was begging. Honestly? All I remember is coming to in the back room with Master Malcolm tending my back.”

  “And what a work of art it is,” Joshua whispered, still tracing the marks gently. This was what he needed. To be put through something this intense until he was flying high, far, far, away from his own mind. The jealousy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He cleared his throat and stepped back. “Did you get punished for losing it at the end?” he asked, going back around the counter and picking up the plates. He turned and put the dirty dishes in the sink, unable to meet Denny’s gaze, not wanting his own issues to damper Denny’s excitement.

  “In the process.” Denny shrugged his jacket back on, then grabbed his crotch. “I have a feeling I won’t be getting rid of this fucking cage anytime soon. But totally worth it.” He smiled, a dreamy expression on his face as he no doubt was remembering what had transpired to be given such a punishment.

  “I can tell from the glint in your eye, it really was worth it,” Joshua said.
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br />   “Oh yeah,” Denny said with a grin and a nod. “Anyway, how are things going with you and Nash? I haven’t seen you guys at the club, and Malcolm simply refuses to gossip.” He wore a pouty expression.

  “Things are okay.” Joshua brought the dishrag to the counter. “Nash has been keeping me busy.”

  “You’ll have to be more specific with the busy.” Denny waved his arm dramatically and knocked over his water. “Oh damn, my bad.” He plucked the dishcloth from Joshua’s hand and sopped up the water. “I can be such a frickin’ klutz.”

  “It’s okay, Denny. It’s just water.” Joshua rushed to the sink and grabbed a dry towel. He knelt on the floor and wiped up the water that had run down the island and onto the tile.

  Denny bounded around to the other side of the island, hands on his lean hips while he smiled down at Joshua. “I can see why your Dom likes to see you on your knees. You’re so damn sexy when you kneel.”

  “Denny,” Joshua said warningly as he finished cleaning up the spill. Joshua knew Denny didn’t mean anything by his teasing. The little shit was a constant tease, but Joshua wasn’t going to encourage his impish behavior. As he got back to his feet, he looked at Denny. “What would Master Malcolm say if he heard you trying to hit on me?” He moved to the sink and tossed the towel in it.

  “You aren’t going to snitch on me, are you?” Denny asked. Joshua looked back to see the cocky grin on Denny’s handsome face.

  “I promise not to if you’ll behave.” Denny pushed out his bottom lip and batted his long lashes. He looked like a cute puppy. He could see why Malcolm was drawn to him. He really was quite irresistible. “Not going to work on me. Now sit your ass down, and I may just share the dessert I made.”

  “Oh, what did you make?”

  “You’ll have to promise before I tell you.” Joshua arched a brow in challenge.

  Denny studied Joshua carefully for a moment. It appeared he was trying to decide if fucking with Joshua was worth giving up dessert. “You are a cruel, cruel hotty man.” He sighed dramatically. “Fine, sweets, bring me some treats. Ooh, I just sounded like a poet.” Denny giggled.

  Joshua rolled his eyes, then went to the refrigerator and retrieved the strawberry cheesecake he’d made. Hopefully Denny liked it. If not, he’d made chocolate chip cookies too, because, yeah, everyone liked those. He set the dessert on the island, and Denny’s eyes lit up.

  “Oh. My. God. Did you make that?”

  “From scratch,” Joshua said with a little pride.

  “Marry me.”

  Denny reached out and stuck his finger in the cheesecake. Joshua slapped his hand. “So much for behaving,” he chastised.

  “I can’t help it. I gave that promise before I knew you made not only my favorite dinner but my favorite dessert too. You know what they say is the best way to a man’s heart.”

  Joshua pulled a knife from the block, drew it through the cake, and grinned. “A riding crop and a heavy hand?”

  “Oh, I do like the way you think.” Denny snickered and winked at Joshua. “I was talking about through their stomachs, but I like your idea.”

  “Fewer calories too,” Joshua said and set a large slice of dessert in front of Denny.

  “Bitch, are you saying I’m fat?”

  Joshua held up his hands in defense. “I would never. You’ve got the cutest, perkiest ass I’ve ever seen.”

  Denny pushed out his chest and danced a little. “I really do,” he said in agreement.

  “Pure perfection.”

  “That’s the honest truth.” Denny puckered up and blew Joshua a kiss. He picked up his fork, cut the tip off the cake, and popped it into his mouth. “Mmm, this is so good I could come.”

  “Don’t you dare,” Joshua chastised. “Malcolm will never believe you had a foodgasm.”

  “Sad but true, and my poor back and cock can’t handle anything more today. But it really is very good. Well done.”

  Denny was such a sweet guy with a bubbly personality. It was like happiness oozed from him. Joshua envied him that. He was glad he agreed to have dinner with Denny, but still, he couldn’t let that little nagging voice go, the one that said he might end up embarrassing himself in front of Denny. His nerves were a bit raw. He’d taken a hell of a hit to any confidence he might have pretended to have. All he could do was try to keep his shit together and not let the conversation drift toward anything too deep.

  “Thanks, I’m glad you like it,” Joshua finally said. He took a bite of the cheesecake. He had to admit, it was good.

  “I mean it. This is super delish.” Denny took another big bite. “How long do you think the Doms will be doing their Dommy stuff?”

  “I don’t know. Nash didn’t say how long he’d be. Why? Did you have plans?”

  “No, I was just thinking cuddling up on the couch and watching a good movie would be the cherry on top of this delightful dinner party for two.”

  “That sounds awesome.” It really did, and Joshua would love the distraction. “What kind of movies do you like?”

  Denny halted his fork almost to his mouth and pursed his lips. “Hmm, well, I like horror, but trust me, you do not want to watch one with me. I have a very high-pitched scream, and honey, I will use it.” He took the last bite of his cheesecake, set the fork down, then wiped his mouth with his napkin before continuing. “I love action-adventure and sci-fi. You’re safe if you watch one of those with me.”

  “Seriously?” Joshua asked as he studied Denny. “I don’t know why, but I would have guessed maybe musicals or chick flicks would have been your favorites.”

  “Oh no, you didn’t.” Denny narrowed his eyes. “I think you may have just insulted my manlihood.”

  “Manlihood?” Joshua laughed, then patted Denny’s arm. “I would never insult a man’s manlihood, especially yours. I only meant that you’re always so bubbly, happy, that I would think you liked more upbeat, positive-type shows, instead of death and mayhem or, God forbid, little alien creatures ripping their way out of a guy’s stomach.”

  “I totally loved Alien, and that scene was pure badassery. I mean seriously, think of the limits in computers and special effects in 1979, and they nailed the realism!” Denny pushed his empty plate away and pointed to it. “Please take that away before I beg you for another piece, and trust me, I’m really, really good at begging.”

  “I’m sure you are.” Joshua chuckled. “You’re more than welcome to have more. I made plenty.”

  Denny shook his head. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m watching my figure, and I know you are too. You don’t fool me. I saw you check out my ass.”

  “Of course I did. You have a sweet ass.” Joshua stood up, smiling. “Let me throw these plates in the dishwasher, and we’ll go see what’s on TV.” He took their plates to the sink and turned on the faucet.

  “Need some help?” Denny offered.

  “I got these, but if you want to put the dessert in the fridge, I’d appreciate it.”

  “Anything for you, hotty man.”

  Joshua shook his head, smiling as he quickly loaded the dishwasher. He dried his hands, dropped the towel on the counter, then grabbed Denny’s hand. “C’mon.” Joshua plopped down on the couch, tugging Denny down with him. Joshua picked up the remote and handed it to Denny. “Pick whatever you want.”

  “Cool. I like hanging with you. Malcolm never lets me pick the show. Don’t tell him but if I have to watch one more rerun of The Golden Girls, I swear he’s going to be the one getting spanked.”

  “I’d seriously like to see that.”

  “Me too.” Denny giggled. He shifted, snuggling into Joshua’s side, legs stretched out on the couch. He clicked on the TV and started going through the channels.

  Worried Denny might try to ask him questions while he channel-surfed, Joshua decided to be the one to keep the focus on something other than him. “So are things getting serious between you and Malcolm? Have you two talked contract?”

  The way Denny tensed was impossible
to miss. “No, he hasn’t even mentioned it. I mean, I take care of him, and he takes care of me. He…. Well… it’s okay the way things are.”

  “From the way you tensed and the tone of your voice, it doesn’t sound like you’re okay with it.”

  Denny shrugged and shifted a bit. “I don’t know. I guess in some aspects it works and in other ways not so much. I serve him, I do what I’m told, and he gives me the structure I need. I’m learning a lot about my submission, and it’s rewarding at times. And, honey, don’t get me started on how mind-blowingly good the sex is between us. Like off-the-fucking-charts hot. I should be happy, content but… I don’t know. It feels like it’s more for fun when it should be meaningful.”

  Joshua could imagine how hard that was. Not belonging. Hell, who was he kidding? He didn’t have to imagine. He knew exactly how it felt. He’d been an outcast all his life. Even with Nash. Sure, he had a contract, so in a sense, he belonged to Nash, just as he’d belonged to Troy and…. He shook his head. Not going there.

  “Maybe you should talk to Malcolm? Tell him what you need.”

  Denny shrugged again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have to trust that he knows what I need. Just like you trust Nash.”

  It was Joshua’s turn to tense, but he recovered quickly, forcing himself to go limp. “Are you just going to play with the remote all night, or are you actually going to pick something?” He didn’t want to talk anymore because, with the sadness in Denny’s tone, he surely would want to do the same as Joshua had been doing, redirect the topic of conversation. That’s wasn’t a place Joshua wanted to go.